Let’s say I, a human male massing 132 kg and carrying a 9-kilogram box of dusty old knick-knacks and other junk, ascend a 10-meter-high flight of stairs in 15 seconds. During that time, I’m expending 922 Watts, which is over nine times a human’s resting metabolism, and about one and a quarter horsepower.

This isn’t the start of a thought experiment. This is just my silly way of letting you guys know why I’ve been silent lately: helping people move is kind of a pain. Good exercise, though, if they, say, live on the third floor.